ETIQUETTE OF THE BALL AND ASSEMBLY ROOM
The greatest advantage of dancing well is that
it necessarily teaches you to present yourself to sit, to stand, and to
walk genteelly all of which are all of real importance to a man of fashion.
1) When a gentleman accompanies
a lady to a ball, he will proceed with her directly to the lady's dressing
room, leaving her there, repair to the gentleman's dressing room, where
they both prepare their evenings toilet , after which the lady will wait
at the lady's sitting room, or at the door of the dressing room for the
gentleman. You will then proceed to meet the lady and enter the ballroom.
At a ball there will be
a master of ceremonies, and it is to this person that everything be conducted
. If you are entirely a stranger, it is to them you must apply for a partner
, and point out very quietly any young lady with whom you wish to dance.
Then, if the master of ceremonies feels that you are amenable, he will present
you for that purpose. If he does object, they will probably select someone
other that they consider more suitable.
2) Do not on any account go to a strange lady and request her
to dance .
3) The gentleman
is introduced to a lady by a floor manager or master of ceremonies, should
not refuse, if she has not already engaged. Her refusal would be bad manners,
as the master of ceremony is supposed t o be very careful about making any
introductions .
4 ) At
a private party a gentleman may offer to dance with a lady, without an introduction.
5) gentleman should respectively
offer his arm to lady who consents to dance with him and lead her to her
place. At the conclusion of the dance, he will conduct her to her seat,
offer her any attention, converse with her.
6) A gentleman should not dance with his wife, and
not too often with the lady to whom he is engaged, other than the first
and last dance.
7) A presentation
of a lady in pubic ballroom does entitle you to claim acquaintance afterward.
Should you meet afterward at most you should lift your hat, but that is
even better avoided, unless she first bows .
8) In inviting a lady, you should use the words "Will
you honor me '', "Shall I have the honor of'', ''Shall I have the pleasure
of'', or ''Will you give the the pleasure of "?
9) If she answers she is engaged merely request
the name of the earliest dance for which she is not engaged.
10) For a young lady to decline dancing
with a gentleman, it is their duty to give him a reason why. It does not
matter how frivolous it may be, it is an act of courtesy. No gentleman should
take the slightest offense at this.
11) Never wait until the signal is given to take
a partner. There is nothing more impolite to a lady than to be asked hastily.
12) If you have asked
a lady for an upcoming dance, be sure you are there to claim that dance.
13) The customary honors
of a bow and a curtsy should be given at the beginning and conclusion of
each dance.
14) When a
lady is standing in a quadrille, and not engaged in dancing, a gentleman
not acquainted with her partner, should not converse with her.
15) When a company is divided into
different sets, a person should not attempt to change their places without
permission of the master of ceremony.
16) When waltzing with a lady, do not press her waist too tightly.
You must only touch it with the palm of your hand. You may leave a disagreeable
impression .
17) Above
all, do not quarrel in the ballroom, even if it means not coming to the
defense of a lady. The lady will be more upset by being made conspicuous
by this defense. In small matters, ladies are usually both willing aside
able to care for themselves.
18) If a gentleman has an occasion to pass through an assembly of
ladies, or if he must pass in front of them, he must give regret at being
compelled to annoy them.
19)
A gentleman having two ladies in charge, may in the absence of one, address
a stranger, offer him a partner, asking his name previous to an introduction,
and mentioning that of the lady's to him.
20) It is improper to engage or re-engage a lady to
dance without the permission of her partner.
21) Never forget ladies are always to be cared for
with the best seats, the best places of distinction, and entitled to all
courteous protection.
22)
Young ladies should avoid sauntering through the assembly room. (They should
either be accompanied by their guardian or a gentleman. Neither married
nor young ladies, should leave the ballroom or any other party unattended.
Married ladies may be accompanied by another married lady, and of course,
by a gentleman. Young ladies may be accompanied by a mother, a guardian.
or a gentleman.
23) The
gentleman who escorts a lady to a ball should dance with her first, and
it should be his care to see that she is provided with a partner whenever
she desires to dance ,
24)
In fact, a lady should not be unattended at any time in a public assembly,
25) When the hour has
come for supper or refreshments, you hand the lady to the table, remain
with her while she's at the table, seeing that she has all she desires and
then conduct her back to the dancing room.
26) While you are walking up and down in a public promenade,
you may meet friends or acquaintances that you do not intend to Join. It
is only necessary to salute them on the first time of passing.
27) All wanton glances and
grimaces which may be invitations to rudeness , should be strictly shunned,
28) When presenting hands,
a slight inclination of the head should be given in the manner of a salutation.
29) Gentlemen should avoid
showing marked preferences to particular ladies, either by devoting their
individual attention or dancing exclusively with them.
30) No lady, regardless of how numerous her
admirers should consent to dance repeatedly, when by so doing, she excludes
other ladies from participating.
31) Take care in your introductions, being sure that both members
of the acquaintance are agreeable. There is no possible advantage of being
made acquainted with others who they are not likely to associate with for
more than 3 minutes, and to whom they may not have the slightest interest,
32) When a gentleman offers his hand to aid a lady in standing from
a chair, do not put your weight on the gentleman's hand.
33) While standing in place at a dance waiting
for instructions or the dance to begin, it is not proper to hold hands.